"A Moment Of Personal Reflection"

I normally write about all things related to time management, priorities and being more productive. On this special day, however, I feel compelled to take a quite different track with my comments.

Almost seventeen years ago I left the classroom to pursue a career as a professional speaker. Little did I know that less than a year after making that decision I would have someone enter my life that would give me the opportunity to daily "practice what I espoused to others" in keynotes and training programs. Living by your priorities is more difficult than simply identifying them.

Sixteen years ago today my first daughter Alex was born. For the first two years of her life I played the role of "Mr. Mom" while my wife worked to support us while my business was taking off. I'll always treasure that time with her and the relationship we developed. For the next several years I had the blessing of spending more time with Alex than almost any parent could ever imagine. She traveled with Lisa and me often on my business trips, enduring endless meetings, cheap hotels (sorry about the bugs) and long road trips. We were never so happy as when we got a VCR/TV for the van... and headphones!

One of my fondest memories of traveling with Alex was when she accompanied me to Japan on a speaking trip. While I would have enjoyed doing a little more sightseeing, we spent hours looking for "Hello Kitty" merchandise and exploring all the neat things at the 100 yen store.

Through these 16 years I have often stumbled as a parent, but I have sincerely tried to make Alex one of the top priorities in my life. Too often I see parents off saving the world but neglecting their own children. I always said I never wanted to be that kind of parent. And looking at the relationship I have with Alex at this point in her life, I indeed feel blessed beyond measure that I made that choice.

My heart also goes out to those parents who won't clarify their priorities and make the necessary changes to live by them. I was talking to someone with young children last week and he was trying to reconcile working long hours (he and his wife) with spending more time with his children. His ultimate comment was, "I can't put off things with my children. They won't wait while we are going after these other things." But he and his wife just aren't willing to make the life changes...yet. Please understand... I don't expect my priorities to be other people's priorities. I just think we need to be intentional about living by our priorities...whatever they may be.

So, what's this post about? I guess you could say it's about seeing the positive results of keeping your priorities straight. The minute you consciously identify your priorities, it seems like a constant struggle to live by them... and it is. But as I reflect on who Alex is today and my small role in the process (she has the greatest mom in the world!)-I can honestly say any moment of struggle is worth the end result.

What priorities are you living by that you will one day look back on and be thankful that you stayed the course?

"3 Types Of People"

As a follow up to my previous blog, I thought some additional tips on building positive work relationships with others might be a good idea. One of the best I found came from a book entitled, Margin, by Dr. Richard Swenson. In the book he talked about increasing your emotional "margin" by spending time with the right kind of people. He suggests all of us have 3 types of people in our lives:

• Fillers: People who encourage and motivate us. They add to our emotional and mental energy by their words and behaviors toward us.
• Drainers: People who take away our mental and emotional energy by their negative attitudes, conversations and actions.
• People who just sit there. These people neither add nor take away our mental or emotional energy.

Now reflect on your typical work day. Who do you spend more time with? Drainers? Fillers? Dr. Swenson would suggest that if your day is spent with drainers, find opportunities to connect with some fillers-or at least those people who just sit there. If you are about to engage in some difficult conversations with some drainers-seek out some fillers prior to that conversation to give you the needed energy to deal with them more effectively. And certainly find some fillers once you tackle a difficult task with some drainers.

On a side note, don't always expect people to be the "fillers" for you. We're all busy and sometimes get too wrapped up in ourselves. A couple of my most consistent fillers are our two Labrador retrievers. They are ALWAYS ready to offer a little encouragement-even if it is sometimes served with a little too much enthusiasm.

"Who Is Looking For You?"

No, this is not about dating sites or who has been looking at your Facebook page. I am instead referring to your work environment. Who is looking forward to seeing you at work today? More importantly, who are you looking forward to seeing at work? Having worked with companies and organizations for several years, I always smile when I see people who like working together because they like each other. With all the pressures placed on productivity and less people to get the work done, having a positive relationship with your co workers is critical-even essential to making it through the day... and wanting to return the next day.

My dad worked in a furniture factory for several years. He took great pride in his work and never complained about the working conditions. What really made him get up every morning and look forward to the work, however, was the people. To this day I meet people in my hometown who tell me how much they enjoyed working with my dad. He tells me stories of how they laughed, shared food at lunch and just enjoyed being around each other. When I was a teacher, there was one teacher I looked forward to seeing every day. If I got to speak to him before school my day went much better. And when I had a bad day, he was the first person I wanted to hang out with after school.

If you are looking to improve your attitude toward work, and make the days go more smoothly, why not start with yourself. Look for those people who can brighten your day and make things go better. Spend time with them. And don't forget to be that person to others as well.

"90% Agreement"

On what do you and your team at work agree? Do you limit forward movement of your goals because you know that 1-2 members of your staff will disagree with the course of action? I thought about that as I read the Pew Research article entitled "90% Agreement." They highlighted how difficult it is to get to 90% agreement on anything and give instances where polling has shown that Americans do have a high level of agreement on only a few things. Since much of their research is strong fodder for heated political conversations, I'll let you go review the article and see their examples.

The article did cause me to reflect on how organizations paralyze themselves because they can't reach a desired level of consensus among their people about a change or how they rush off in new directions without getting "buy in" from a significant number of people-and the change fails.

If you are a manager of people, why not make a decision about the desired level of agreement BEFORE you actually introduce a change. That will help you plan strategy and how to position conversations. As the article stated, 90% agreement is almost impossible to achieve with any group. Working toward that goal is admirable-remaining inactive because you can't get that level of agreement is dangerous.

The First Time

I received an email this week that shocked me... No, it wasn't for improvement of any physical characteristics or from a long lost uncle in Nigeria who left me a fortune. The email was from one of my recent clients, thanking me for a small gift I had sent him as a result of using my services for their conference. The client said, "I have been a meeting planner for several years, and this is the first time we have ever received a thank you from a speaker."

That's sad. Whether your business is landscaping, painting, engineering or any of a gazillion other products or services, there is always time to say "Thank You" to someone for purchasing your product or expertise. It doesn't have to be a physical gift. Thank you notes or personal follow up phone calls after the transaction are both simple things that can be done to say to the customer that you appreciate their business. And getting the gift or note after the transaction confirms their choice-and causes them to spread the word about what you offer. People have so many choices for anything in today's market-why not take every step to convince them that your product or service is the right one... and will be when they choose again in the future.

Still not convinced? At one repeat client's program a few weeks ago, a member of the planning team even asked, "Are you going to send us more of those delicious cookies?" They got a double order.