If you have ever taken a "red eye" flight, you know how they are just a miserable experience. It's just one of those little inconveniences you have to endure to get home (or to your destination) more quickly. Last week at the end of one such flight, a lady in the row across from me was complaining about the experience. She said, "My red eye flight was so much better a few weeks ago." Inquiring as to why, she told me she was in first class with the seats that recline completely and there is more room. She had been upgraded to the better seat because there weren't many people on the flight. She didn't pay for it... circumstances just worked in her favor-that time.

As she continued lamenting this most recent experience, I finally asked her, "Did you pay for a first class seat on this flight?" Her quick response was, "No. Of course not." "Well," I replied, "I guess you got what you paid for."

Her thought process reminds me of how many of us look at investing our time. We use it poorly but expect "first class" results. We complain at the end of the day when our highest priorities were not addressed, but if we look closer we might find that we didn't use our time as wisely as we thought.

The situation reminded me of basketball coach Rick Pitino's book from a few years ago entitled, You Must Deserve To Win. If we want to experience anything of greater value or benefit (i.e. a better airline seat, a winning record or less stress), we must invest our time wisely.

Sunday morning I was traveling home with my family from an extended trip involving a 12 hour plane flight. We had missed our connecting flight on Saturday night due to weather, had to get a hotel for a few hours and then fly home Sunday. Needless to say we were tired and just ready to get home.

After getting through security at JFK we found the most refreshing surprise. A Delta employee was giving out carnations to all the women traveling through the terminal as a gift on Mother's Day. His smile and simple words, accompanied by the flower, were just a pleasant addition to what had been a tough previous 24 hours.

All of us need encouragement and a positive word in these days of overloaded schedules and hurried lifestyles. The amazing thing is that it takes so little to offer a lift to others. Just looking someone in the eye and giving a "thank you" can be enough to help someone see they are making a difference. Giving specific praise about how the actions taken by someone have made a positive impact on your day might be just the encouragement they need to keep moving. And when you make the effort, don't be surprised to find that you, too, are encouraged by what you have just done. As one of the proverbs says, "He who refreshes others will himself be refreshed." The employee giving out the flowers at the airport was having the time of his life letting every woman who passed by know that their life mattered.

How could you surprise someone today with a word or deed of encouragement or thanks? And if you think they don't need it, ask yourself....do you? 

I’m currently in Saudi Arabia working with Saudi Aramco, the largest oil company in the world. As most anyone knows, oil is the lifeblood of this region. It’s plentiful supply has allowed the country to grow in ways almost unimaginable-but that could be changing. One statistic I have heard frequently is that due to population growth by 2030 Saudi Arabia could be a net importer of energy. That’s right-an importer of energy. One of their challenges is that energy costs have been so low due to the incredible supply here in Saudi Arabia that people aren’t looking to use it as wisely. Right now, per liter, oil is cheaper than water.

Their dilemma with a potential future energy crisis mirrors much of how we look at our time resources. When we don’t see the incredible value in investing each moment in accomplishing what is important, we more carelessly spend our time. It’s only when we begin to see the reality of our actions (i.e. my kids are almost grown and there was so much I wanted to do with them), that we are hit with the need to revisit our priorities.

Led by Saudi Aramco, Saudi Arabia is looking to start making changes now to avoid potential problems in the future. Like them, we need to be in constant analysis of the use of our time resources so we don’t find ourselves with unfinished priorities, dreams or goals-and no resources to make them a reality.

You've made the case for change, shown others a desirable outcome to be experienced, and shown them the path to make the journey. If they still aren't willing to engage in new attitudes or actions, perhaps it's the "d" they keep adding to the word "change." And as my friend Alan Kaniss reminds me, people aren't necessarily averse to change, but they don't like being changed.

The idea connects strongly with my thought that change has to be cultivated within an organization and not forced, driven, or simply led. All the best practices related to change are necessary, but the goal should be to help them to see the benefits of change and how they can make the journey instead of the purpose of telling them that what they are doing is inadequate and they (and/or their skills or work habits) need to be changed. Once they take the first step on their own, celebrate it, and continue to provide the environment where they are encouraged to take the next step.

Light bulbs, batteries and diapers need to be changed. People, on the other hand, need the vision, motiviation, guidance, and support to change.

I recently spoke at a corporate leader's retreat held at a remote mountain resort. A number of the participants arrived later than planned. The reason was similar for most of them-their GPS wasn't working correctly. Some gave reports of being on gravel roads that simply ended while others said their GPS unit lost signal and they couldn't determine which way to go next.

I had to chuckle because I think that's the same approach many people take to how they work through their day. They put their trust in a series of tasks (turns and road names), hoping that the completion of these tasks help them achieve their goals (arrive at their destination). Sometimes it works.... and sometimes it doesn't.

A more effective approach to planning and organizing our daily schedule can be found in how people planned travel prior to GPS units. They include:

• Getting out a map to identify the location of the destination. It's like identifying our goals and objectives for the day, and where we want to end up when the day is over.
• Making a physical list of all the road names and turns involved in the journey. Again, you're focusing on how these tasks and activities will lead you to a desired destination.
• Reviewing the map from time to time. Most people make a list for their day and then don't refer back to it until they have added other tasks (turns) that don't really connect with the desired destination.
• Talking with someone who knows directions to your destination. How often could we improve our efficiency if we sought the advice of others instead of just hoping we were engaging in the right tasks?

Don't get me wrong. GPS units are amazing devices, and I use one regularly. However, I have found that completely relying on them without using some of the strategies listed above can get you lost. The same is true when we don't take a more active role in planning (and traveling through) our day.

Walking through a park I came upon this sign. Whose heart wouldn't melt looking at the face of this dog? And if you have ever been walking through a park or public area and, well, stepped in Rover's droppings, you know how important it is to obey the sign's message.

While chuckling at the sign and container of blue bags attached to the past, I also thought about a conversation I had with someone recently. They were lamenting their work overload and commented about how they were frequently having to "clean up" after the poor work performance of some of their direct reports. When I asked about why they didn't more directly address the problem, they said, "I just hate to get things stirred up."

Too many of us are afraid of "stirring things up," so we shoulder our work load and part of someone else's too. The quality of our work suffers and our stress levels increase, while the other person (or people) just keep on..... well you know what I mean.

If you are finding yourself frequently having to take on the "mess" left by someone else, it's time to stop and address the issue. Maybe they don't even realize how their efforts (or lack of effort) are affecting your performance. Their may be valid reason for their actions, including incomplete information or a skill deficiency. They may not care how you feel... but you won't know until you start the conversation. Get the talk started out on the right path by using phrases like "Help me understand" or "I need your help with something" or "I have noticed...."

You have too many important things planned to forego them just because someone else doesn't realize how their actions are inhibiting your performance. Yes, the "poop may hit the fan," but aren't you tired of picking up after everyone else?

Last week I was playing catch with my 9 year old. While she had her baseball glove in the right place to catch the ball, it was hitting the side of her glove. I kept telling her to turn her hand so that the glove would be more open toward the ball, but she continued to hold it the wrong way. Finally, in frustration she yelled at me, "Holding it that way is not natural!" After explaining to her that sometimes you have to train yourself to do things that aren't "natural," she caught several balls in a row. Success!

Staying focused is a similar quandry. We aren't wired to maintain intense focus for long periods of time. Our brain is constantly on the look out for new information, regardless of whether it is of value or not. This constant scanning grows out of a natural desire to maintain our safety and well-being. So, like holding your baseball glove correctly, it takes work to train yourself to focus.

To improve your ability to stay focused in the moment, try these tips:

• Monitor the average length of time you are able to focus. Notice what breaks your concentration and try to remove that distraction. If it's a lack of energy, get more rest. If it's noise, seek to reduce it, or block it out.
• Create the environment in which you CAN focus. Too often we try to focus, and then spend most of our time fighting with the distractions. Determine the best environment to really work on something, and create it before you start.
• Reward yourself for being able to focus for longer periods of time. My reward for getting the right work done after lunch (the 1-3 PM time frame) is a cold Diet Mountain Dew. If I don't use the time wisely, I have to forego this simple treat.
• Notice your normal body rhythms. Some of us are better able to focus first thing in the morning. for others it may be late at night. Find the time for you-and schedule those tasks that need your full attention.

 Staying focused may not be natural, but it is critical to accomplishig anything of significance. Play ball!

In a training program last week with the fantastic people at Tractor Supply, a participant named Warren really rattled me with one comment. I've been involved in training for over 18 years, and have learned to ask some pointed questions that cause me and usually others to really dig deep within to find an answer. I think too many of us aren't willing to ask the hard questions, find the answers, and then make significant changes to our work or life. As Thoreau put it, "we lead lives of quiet desperation."

Back to Warren. We were discussing the need to prioritize because we have limits. Warren commented, "In other words, it's like the question, 'What are you willing to fail at?'" BAM! What an intriguing thought. We spend so much time on the success side of the equation that we fail to recognize that if we have limits and want to succeed at certain things, we will inevitably have to be willing to fail at other things-or at least be willing to settle for less than our very best.

On the plane on the way home I tried to make a list of those things about which I am willing to fail. It was the most difficult mental exercise I have had in a long time. To be honest, I am still working on it, and hope to have a more clear list in the coming days. I am finding that it's not something that we should create and then put away. We need to ask ourselves the question every day to help us better determine what our priorities should be.

How would you answer the question?

An intriguing news story in North Carolina over the past couple of months has been the request for money to upgrade the football stadium owned by the Carolina Panthers. Jerry Richardson, owner of the team, has requested millions of dollars to improve several aspects of the building. He has made his appeal to the Charlotte City Council (where the stadium is located) as well as a committee at the NC General Assembly. The irony in play is that the football team is making a profit and since the stadium is owned by the team, many have suggested that Jerry Richardson fund the improvements himself. One state legislator, listening to his request, even asked the question, "With all your wealth and ability to pay for these improvements, why are you asking us for money?" His response was priceless..."Because I can."

Beyond debating the merits of whether the improvements should be publicly or privately funded, you have to admire Jerry Richardson's "I can" attitude. Too many of us spend our days focusing on all the things we can't do, instead of choosing something we can do... and getting it done.

At a training program some time ago, an HR manager was highly frustrated that many of the managers were complaining of work overload. "They spend so much time talking about all they can't get done," she said. "If they would just pick something and do it, they might just stop being so far behind." Excellent point. Our time is too precious to waste it on what we can not do.

What's your day looking like? A day spent loathing all the tasks or activities you can't get to, or taking action on what you can do?

My friend Sean has a comprehensive yet simple way to make change more permanent in his life. When he wants a new idea or behavior to become part of the fabric of his daily activities, he applies the change to his work or life in three ways:

• Tell
• Write
• Memorize

When you tell someone about the desired change, you are clarifying your thoughts around the change and possibly gaining support from someone else (or forcing yourself to make sure the change is valid if they challenge you).

Writing down the change, or how you want to take action on it, connects it more strongly to your mind.

While you don't need to memorize the change, you may want to memorize a quote or information related to the change. For example, when I found myself feeling in a rut and needing to change, I memorized quotes like, "Life is daring adventure or nothing" by Helen Keller.

I'd add another one to his list-visualize. When we focus on the desired outcomes from the change it keeps us motivated to stay the course with the new attitudes or actions.