Test Your Ability To Connect With Others

I came across an amazing quote by Lisa Kirk a few days ago. It reads: A gossip is one who talks to you about others; a bore is one who talks to you about himself; and a brilliant conversationalist is one who talks to you about yourself.

So yesterday I worked harder than normal to talk to others about themselves and limit talking about myself or other people. While I knew the outcome, it was still refreshing to see people literally "light up" as they became the center of attention.

Spend some time today working hard to be a conversationalist... you might just discover how interesting and helpful other people can be.

A Reasonable Donation

While in Las Vegas this week I was admiring the work of an artist along the street. With only poster paper and spray paint, he created amazing paintings. When he finished one of his paintings, another onlooker asked him the price for his paintings. His response was "a reasonable donation." When pressed a little more, he finally said, "At least $20-25 dollars."

I had to laugh because I see so many people in leadership positions who give the same type of vague expectations of people who they work with. People like to know exactly what is expected of them and their efforts. Giving them less than specific expectations only confuses them.

The next time you are giving someone directions on completing a task, ask yourself if you are being clear in your expectations. Failing to do so may inhibit your ability to "sell" the idea to them. Speaking of selling, guess how many paintings the guy sold? You guessed it... none.

The Power of The Personal Touch-Part 2

After 16 years of frequent stays in hotels it had to happen... a fire alarm in the middle of the night. As I awoke at 2:08 AM (funny how you remember the exact time) to the the "whoop-whoop" of the alarm, I thought, "At any moment they will make an announcement saying it's a false alarm." As I sat up and began putting on my shoes, an automated voice told us to head to the stairways to exit. I was still skeptical that this was the real thing, but I complied-just in case.

After getting outside I learned there was actually a small fire that started in the ventilation system in the kitchen. Nothing significant-just enough to set off the alarm. Within 30 minutes we were back in our rooms.

As I lay in bed trying to go back to sleep, I couldn't help but think how I would have responded if the voice had been a real human being. I would have moved much more quickly. They could have used the same words as the "autotron" but the impact would have been very different.

Seriously, I understand the need to heed fire alarm warnings, sirens and similar signals (still a little jaded by my college dorm years), but in other areas our world has become so automated and impersonal. We know the power of the personal touch-but we just don't leverage its value.

Two weeks ago I needed to get a question answered about an airport's opening time. I found their phone number, dialed it, and expected to go through the regular series of menu prompts. Instead, a pleasant voice said, "Good evening and thank you for calling the Charlotte Douglas International Airport-How may I help you?" I had to pinch myself because I thought I was dreaming!

What could you do today to add more of the personal touch to your interactions? Don't be surprised if you get a very different response from those receiving the message.

"Don't Let Them Think About Spiders"

I am a big fan of strange statistics and their connection to human behavior. I found one the other day that I think may qualify as the strangest one yet. In a study at the Open University in the UK they found that "Talking on the phone about spiders while driving causes greater driver error by people who are spider phobic than those who aren't afraid of spiders." The difference in error was 6.5 for spider phobics and 4.5 for non-phobics. Who would have guessed spiders could have such an impact?

The research highlighted the results which suggest that emotionally-charged cell phone conversations may impact people's ability to focus on driving. I would take the concept a bit further and suggest that we always need to be careful about engaging in emotional conversations when on a mobile phone. The sound is usually not as clear as a landline so the emotional tone of the voice is often lost or minimized. And you just never know when you might drop the call... and it's at a point where you really needed to have the full focus of both parties.

Trying to discuss sensitive issues by mobile phone is a little better than using e mail (a post for another day), but take every effort to make the conversation face to face or at least at a point where both individuals are able to focus on the subject at hand... and not veering across the road toward you or me because they get so upset.