Emergency Cookies And Change

While sitting on a plane waiting to taxi to the runway, a heavy thunderstorm erupted over the airport. With the pouring rain, gusty winds and strong lightning, it was only a matter of time. Yes, the pilot came on the pa system and said, "We are shutting the engines down until the storm blows over." Forty five minutes later the storm is still a menace and now there are no less than 30 planes waiting to take off when the storm actually clears. The collective mood among the passengers was simply "arrrrggghhhhhhhhhh!"

The lone flight attendant had helped ease the frustration by passing out cups of water, but when the announcement about the 30 planes awaiting takeoff was made, the warm thoughts about the free water was forgotten. The flight attendant, not willing to allow the mood to become hostile, started passing out biscoff cookies-not just one pack, but two or even three. The mood quickly lightened. I overheard the attendant tell a passenger, "These are our emergency cookies. It had not been long enough to really justify using them, but I didn't want to wait. Give this guy a raise!

When change is hard, it's easy for people to lose sight of factors that are out of everyone's control (like the weather) and to develop negative attitudes. Good leaders know they need to pass out some "emergency cookies" quickly or people can become even less cooperative as the change progresses. Examples of some cookies we can use to help soothe ill feelings caused by the storms of change include:

Acknowledging that the change is difficult but reminding them of how they have persevered through worse situations in the past
Creating opportunities for people to laugh and relax. You may have to spend a few dollars (cookies cost money) but it's an investment in improving their morale and willingness to stay the course.
Have as many personal conversations as possible. People have different needs they sense you sincerely care about their anxiety if you at least listen to them as individuals.
Bend the rules but be clear about your reasoning. You don't want to train people that when things get hard in a change that they can simply violate company policy or standards, but if you give a sensible rationale about your actions, most people will not expect it to become a habit.

Our flight arrived about midnight. When we touched down, many of the passengers clapped and as we disembarked, you should have heard the accolades given to the flight attendant. Amazing what a few emergency cookies can do.

I'll Be the 51%

At a dinner meeting some time ago I met a lifelong entrepreneur who owned 7 successful businesses-and none of them were connected! As I listened, I knew there had to be a story behind his acquisition of the businesses, so I asked him, “Which one do you look back on and find yourself surprised now that you own?” Without any hesitation, he and his wife answered, “Subway.” They were 51% owners of a Subway restaurant in their small community.

The back story is that the community really wanted a Subway but no one was willing to invest the kind of money it would take to make it happen. Wanting to help the community, he said, “I’ll be a 51% owner but you have to find the other 49%. The community did find a number of others investors and soon the familiar green and yellow sign was a reality.

In my training programs I frequently am asked to address the “How do I say ‘No’ more often or at least limit my exposure when I say ‘Yes?’ John’s approach to the Subway restaurant offers a good option for many of us. Be willing to take the majority share of “Yes” if it is something you are passionate about, but force those asking you to participate to also meaningfully contribute to the success of the task or request. Be clear about what you will and will not do before you break ground, and you can find out how serious others are about seeing the idea become a reality. If they don’t come up with the 49% you have saved yourself a lot of wasted time, energy, and in John’s case-money.

She Is With Me

When my older daughter started to board a recent flight with me, she was stopped by the gate agent who said, “I’m sorry. Your zone is not yet boarding.” I then stepped forward and said, “She is with me.” As a frequent traveler, she could board with me instead of having to wait until later. The agent smiled in approval and we boarded the plane.

I had a similar situation earlier in the week. A person who I tremendously admire for their integrity and accomplishments in leadership asked to have lunch with me. As we ate, he talked of his desire to share his experiences and life lessons with a larger audience. He sought me out because he sees something in me that can help him get to a place he might not be able to take himself. What an honor!

It’s a fact. We need connections with the right people to succeed. Building relationships with those who have a skill, insight or perspective beyond our own limitations or experiences accelerates our ability to achieve the results we really want. Sure we might be able to “tough it out” and make it on our own, but why? Real leaders take much joy from being able to impart their wisdom in a way that improves the lives of others. If you have ever seen someone achieve a higher level of success professionally or personally because of something you said to them or did for them, you know exactly what I mean.

So the question for today is, “Who are you with-or will you be found with, who can assist you in turning your passions into action and your “someday” into “today?” Failure to take such opportunities is only hurting you-and them.

Curious, Committed, Passionate... or Obsessed?

Reflect on the way you approached your tasks and activities yesterday. Which of the four words in the title would best describe the attitude with which you worked on them? Here's my simple definition of each one:

• Curious. You engage in the task, but often move on to something else before the job is completed because you are curious about something else.
• Committed. You focus on the task, attempting to complete it in a timely manner, and sincerely try to prevent other distractions from taking you away from it. Others respect you for your work ethic.
• Passionate. You make the task a priority, plan for it before you start, and work on it with an enthusiasm that brings admiration from others. Your energy is contagious, encouraging others to take on their tasks with a similar passion. They may even want to get on board and help you accomplish it.
• Obsessed. You are so hyper focused on a task, project or activity that you are willing to neglect work on other tasks of similar importance-even when they need your attention. Unlike passion, your obsession drives a wedge between you and those around you because they don't see you as being concerned about the bigger picture-and interested in accomplishing other goals important to the team.

As I said earlier, there's value in each attitude, but I find that most people spend most of their time and energy in the "curious" or "obsessed" arenas. To achieve excellence we need to be more committed and passionate about those things we SAY are important to us. And stop obsessing about those things that just don't matter as much.

What word will best describe your work and life today?

Honest Support

This past weekend my older daughter and I ran in the Charity Chase Half Marathon in Hickory NC. It was our 3rd time and we enjoy the challenge. Being in the mountains of North Carolina, the course has many hills and is challenging.

A refreshing part of the event is that "cheer groups" are set up along the course to keep you motivated and offer words of encouragement. Some groups may be a few families in the neighborhood, while others may be made up of leaders of a local charity that will be receiving some of the money from the event.

One particular cheer group was not very motivating, however. We were only 3-4 miles into the race and one of the individuals said, "You're doing great-it's all down here from here!" Needless to say... it wasn't. And although the comments were well intended, they were more discouraging than encouraging. It's probably why one runner behind us, when hearing the person's words, shouted to them jokingly, "You're lying!!!"

Too often we offer the same type of support or feedback to coworkers, family members and friends. We may mean well, but what we really do is give them a false sense of hope or direction that may do more harm than good-espeically when they look back on the experience later. What they really need is honest answers and to know that we are there to support them when things get difficult. As I recently listened to a friend tell of their struggle to regain a sense of normalcy in their life, they kept saying it was hopeless to try. My response simply was, "It's not hopeless-but it will be hard."

There was another cheer group in our race that I'll always remember. We were just past the 12 mile mark and really in pain (the race is 13.1 miles). As we ran by, someone shouted, "There's only one more hill and then it's a flat run to the finish line. You are so close-don't give up now." They were right-and their honesty was greatly appreciated.