Stop Picking Up After Everyone Else

Walking through a park I came upon this sign. Whose heart wouldn't melt looking at the face of this dog? And if you have ever been walking through a park or public area and, well, stepped in Rover's droppings, you know how important it is to obey the sign's message.

While chuckling at the sign and container of blue bags attached to the past, I also thought about a conversation I had with someone recently. They were lamenting their work overload and commented about how they were frequently having to "clean up" after the poor work performance of some of their direct reports. When I asked about why they didn't more directly address the problem, they said, "I just hate to get things stirred up."

Too many of us are afraid of "stirring things up," so we shoulder our work load and part of someone else's too. The quality of our work suffers and our stress levels increase, while the other person (or people) just keep on..... well you know what I mean.

If you are finding yourself frequently having to take on the "mess" left by someone else, it's time to stop and address the issue. Maybe they don't even realize how their efforts (or lack of effort) are affecting your performance. Their may be valid reason for their actions, including incomplete information or a skill deficiency. They may not care how you feel... but you won't know until you start the conversation. Get the talk started out on the right path by using phrases like "Help me understand" or "I need your help with something" or "I have noticed...."

You have too many important things planned to forego them just because someone else doesn't realize how their actions are inhibiting your performance. Yes, the "poop may hit the fan," but aren't you tired of picking up after everyone else?

What They (And You) Need More Than Anything Else

In a recent search for fresh content on encouragement, I came across the book, Encouragement Makes Good Things Happen by Theo Schoenaker. While I have just started reading it, the author hooked me on the first page when he wrote, Discouragement snatches from us the most important thing needed for a well-lived life-courage. He continues with:

With courage, discussions can be more constructive, families more peaceful, work more meaningful, and essentially, all human relations better.

And what's so sad to me is that encouragement is the easiest of all work and life skills to develop. Looking for something on which to give a positive comment to someone should come as natural as breathing to us. Most all of us know the difference it has made in our lives when someone saw something in us that we didn't see ourselves. Countless stories of success begin with, "There was this person who said they believed I could do it."

I am firmly convinced that regardless of whether your biggest challenge today is work-life balance, managing your time or dealing with change, you will be better equipped to handle these challenges if you focus on doing a better job of genuinely encouraging others around you. As one of the proverbs says, He who refreshes others will himself be refreshed.

Leadership And Being "Cellotastic"

One of my new musical passions is a duo called The Piano Guys. Here's the facts: One guy plays the cello and one plays the piano. Not impressed? I wouldn't be either. You have to SEE them performing to get hooked. Both Jon Schmidt and Steven Sharp Nelson have a love of their instrument that is incredible. They also exude a level of humility and respect for others that is rare in today's world. Oh, and they have a fantastic sense of humor. When their performance of a song is complete I find myself thinking, "WOW! I wish I could play the cello or piano like them."

Growing leaders is a huge focus in business today. With an increasing number of workers retiring each year, the pool of potential leaders is shrinking. While speaking at a recent conference involving over 300 leaders and managers the question was asked, "How many people would want to rise to the next level of leadership in their department?" Less than 10 percent raised their hand. Yes, leaders have pressures placed upon them that did not exist in the past, but strong leadership is needed today more than ever-in corporations, government, non-profit organizations and even our families.

The ultimate question is, "Are you performing your duties and opportunities as a leader in such a way that other people want to be YOU one day?" If not, start by watching a few moments of The Piano Guys, and start growing more leaders in your work and life.

The Word To Erase From Your Vocabulary

Stevie Ray is a brilliant improv guy and internationally-recognized speaker. I had the good fortune of meeting him this past week. As we were talking after my program, he offered several insights related to research about human behavior. He said that when we use the word "but" it effectively erases anything said prior to the use of the word. For example, if someone is commenting on an idea of mine and says, "I like your idea BUT here's my thought," the goodwill offered by their saying they "like my idea" is lost and I perceive them to only want to go with their idea.

Of course the conversation jump started my thinking about what to do to minimize my use of the word. Here are some of my initial strategies:

• Just leave it out. Instead of saying, "I like your idea but..." say, "I like your idea. Another one to explore could be...."
• Ask for their reasoning behind the idea or comment. Ask, "What do you see as the benefits of this choice?" An additional benefit is that you might get to the motive of their choice and if at odds with them you can agree on it before moving on to solutions.
• Play out the scenario with the idea. When you say "But" it shuts down the other person's desire to discuss options and makes them defensive. Let them finish fleshing out their idea and give them the opportunity to see (from your perspective) potential obstacles with the choice.

Those are my thoughts. I'd welcome any from you. Email me... and I promise not to use the word "But" if I see things differently.

Emergency Cookies And Change

While sitting on a plane waiting to taxi to the runway, a heavy thunderstorm erupted over the airport. With the pouring rain, gusty winds and strong lightning, it was only a matter of time. Yes, the pilot came on the pa system and said, "We are shutting the engines down until the storm blows over." Forty five minutes later the storm is still a menace and now there are no less than 30 planes waiting to take off when the storm actually clears. The collective mood among the passengers was simply "arrrrggghhhhhhhhhh!"

The lone flight attendant had helped ease the frustration by passing out cups of water, but when the announcement about the 30 planes awaiting takeoff was made, the warm thoughts about the free water was forgotten. The flight attendant, not willing to allow the mood to become hostile, started passing out biscoff cookies-not just one pack, but two or even three. The mood quickly lightened. I overheard the attendant tell a passenger, "These are our emergency cookies. It had not been long enough to really justify using them, but I didn't want to wait. Give this guy a raise!

When change is hard, it's easy for people to lose sight of factors that are out of everyone's control (like the weather) and to develop negative attitudes. Good leaders know they need to pass out some "emergency cookies" quickly or people can become even less cooperative as the change progresses. Examples of some cookies we can use to help soothe ill feelings caused by the storms of change include:

Acknowledging that the change is difficult but reminding them of how they have persevered through worse situations in the past
Creating opportunities for people to laugh and relax. You may have to spend a few dollars (cookies cost money) but it's an investment in improving their morale and willingness to stay the course.
Have as many personal conversations as possible. People have different needs they sense you sincerely care about their anxiety if you at least listen to them as individuals.
Bend the rules but be clear about your reasoning. You don't want to train people that when things get hard in a change that they can simply violate company policy or standards, but if you give a sensible rationale about your actions, most people will not expect it to become a habit.

Our flight arrived about midnight. When we touched down, many of the passengers clapped and as we disembarked, you should have heard the accolades given to the flight attendant. Amazing what a few emergency cookies can do.